Twas the night before Christmas in the Ocean State, Santa was running extremely late.
Saint Nick was feeling sluggish, his clothes were a tatter, the elves got beat up by Black Lives Matter.
In Providence old Santa was not well received, the panhandlers chased him, on his leg one peed.
Kat Kerwin appeared and vandalized his sled, threw rocks at poor Rudolph, threw paint that was red.
“We don’t want your white privilege” Kerwin screamed like a beast,”all we want for Christmas is Defund the police!”
The Protesters hated Christmas, they hated it all. Antifa wanted a Christmas riot at Providence Place Mall.
At the State House Santa could not believe what he saw, they were protesting him, maybe a thousand or more.
“Santa is a white racist” read one sign or two, “F Santa” said another and “F Back the Blue.”
Santa explained he was there to deliver toys, but Antifa said elves dressed more like Proud Boys. The protest got violent an ugly scene, as thousands watched John DePetro “Santa Protest” Facebook Live stream.
Santa moved past downtown and over to the eastside, ignoring the protesters, and took it all in stride.
Santa left a note for Gina signed Nick the old Saint, with a note saying ” next time skip the wine and paint.”
In Providence illegals were coming from near and far, for a Christmas photo with Baby Omar.
No stop at Allie’s donuts for Santa this year, Matt has banned elves and all the reindeer.