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Twas the night before Christmas in the Ocean state,
but no food for the poor with UHIP still late.
Although Santa was known as a jolly old soul,
he hated the thought of the Rhode Island sleigh tolls.
Santa seemed off and a little hazy,
the elfs shocked they closed the Foxy Lady.
The state house was busy this Christmas Eve,
“sex for legislation” is still their pet peeve.
The Governor still making fundraising calls,
dreaming of $20 million as her campaign cash haul;
The governor thanked Santa for a victory this year,
she avoided a loss which was her fear.
The speaker was worried as he checked his list twice,
” NO Hasbro campus unless they pay me my price!”
Mattiello mused, ” I hope Santa don’t think I am a thug,
and I’ll make sure of that with a handshake and hug.”
The state senate was crowded still busy down the hall,
dreaming of “no show” jobs for their families and all.
For Santa, Smith Hill was nothing but fun,
like Trillo on his yacht with a corking gun.
Christmas Eve on Smith hill where the parties run late,
with money to be made in the “I know a guy” state;
where power is seen in a low numbered plate,
and pensions are granted if you slide thru the gate.
Gorbea was excited and seem to be gloating,
she asked Santa for mail ballots and early voting;
Nellie was ready, to deck the halls,
“last minute voting” in Pawtucket and Central Falls.
The progressives hated Christmas they hated it all,
they hated Santa and trump and his talk of his wall.
State police were apologetic and filled with dread,
they shot a reindeer thought to be stealing a sled.
|” sorry, no room.”
Linc Chafee was angry for all to see,
yelling “it’s still not Christmas, it’s a holiday tree!”
It was Christmas in Providence with plenty of need,
so they robbed the giving meters to buy monkey weed;
Olneyville was ready for a big Christmas ball,
dreaming of green cards, EBT cards, licenses for all;
Mayor Elorza was worried about old saint Nick,
charging “time and a half” with North Pole union tricks;
Kennedy plaza was packed on Christmas Eve day,
with panhandlers and junkies causing delay;
The homeless were ready for holiday cheer, at the
“Superman” building they pissed and drank beer.
May this joyous season bring you peace,
knowing Gordon Fox is still on work release.
And when you hear those Christmas bells,
just smile thinking of Gallison in his prison cell.
What will happen in 2019 we just don’t know,
Merry Christmas to all from the John DePetro show.